I need a quiet place
For the past 2 weeks, depression had slowly seeped back into my life and this was from feeling insignificant in my company… I guess it’s normal that since im leaving, people would pay less attention to me but it just seems that as I leave everything is taking a turn for the better. Staff are given more holidays, pay raises, better working conditions… and I had to endure being treated like crap throughout the past year…

My boss once said to me… if you look for shit you will find shit…true…true… and if you are given shit do you eat it?

I mean I agree that if you keep being negative about a situation, everything becomes negative… However there is also the problem of being optimistic beyond sensibility

If a piece of shit lies before you on the ground would you go closer to examine if it were shit? Would you put your nose to it and take a smell? Would you put your mouth to it to take a bite? Would you roll it in your tongue to taste it? Hello…..denial doesn’t help in progress…it hinders…

Anyways, I was bogged down beyond what I could bear and I prayed… Then God told me to go to a quiet place and so I did...

I went to a high place and just gazed across the west lake, the sound of the traffic slowly disappeared as I focused on the clouds and the tranqulity of the water... I was expecting God to say something to me but during the entire time he was silent...and I knew that that was what he had wanted for me....a time of quietness..

I was at peace... and it was nice... so after lunch I rode back to the kindergarten and then the thoughts about how everyone hated me came seeping back into my head... My peace was disrupted and I stopped my bike.... I rebuked the devil and told him to get lost and I prayed in Jesus' name for that...then the voices stopped... Oh how faithful he is...