Hey everyone,

Thank you all for your sms's and letters, you guys wouldnt know how encouraging it was for me to hear from you. Its been a really bleak 6 months here in bangkok and with the accident....sigh..... more is to come......But yes your letters have been very encouraging and every word was like a pat on my head telling me that i was going to be alright and a pat on my shoulder encouraging me to go on. Khop Khun Maa Krup, Xin Cam On, Terima Kasih, Naandiri, Gam Siah, Dor Zheah, Xie Xie, and thank you all so much... I miss you all greatly and i hope to meet up with all of you soon...

What did you say?
Its been a month since my accident and i thank you for your prayers. Everything is fine except that the inner ear on the left received a direct blow when i fell and the doctor said that it would take perhaps another 3 months before it is fully healed. My hearing is slightly muffled and pressure always builds up... my balance is good if i keep upright but if i were to tilt my head in any downward direction, i ll start to get dizzy but ive learnt to balance myself pretty well when this happens.

Life for now will be interesting... I was teaching part time at the school and was also writing for the magazine. I quit my job at the school a week ago as I couldnt handle the stress from dealing with the children, previously when i was healthy it wasnt a problem however after the accident I would get really bad headaches if im stressed and the headaches were constantly crippling me. I miss teaching the kids but I just wasnt in any state to carry on.

As for the magazine, it was enjoyable and i was getting along pretty well with my collegues and i liked the work. But on tuesday i was sent home because there was no work, the boss had also told me to no follow the set schedule and that he would call me if there was work. The magazine apparently is in a pretty bad shape as 3 staff have either left or quit and other staff are awaiting their pay check before they go...Everyone was disgruntled but it doesnt really affect me as im only the part timer.....but ive not been paid yet...so that does call for some concern.

Strangely Im not really concerned about the financial situation im in right now... Im not anxious neither am i afraid... its rather liberating actually...


The Investigator, the Insurance Agent and the Student
I do need prayer in a particular area though... on monday the 8th, at 3pm, i will be meeting the police investigator and insurance company which represents the bus company which was involved in my accident... I would like to ask for prayer that there be no corruption or under table money which will be exchanged as the bus company may pay the investigator to have the case put in their favor. its very difficult in a country like this when corruption of the law is a norm.


Do fishes drink?
My dad came to bangkok this week and spent 3 days indulging in life with his friends, I spent 2 evenings with them and it was nice to know that my father was worried when i had drinks through the dinner. He didnt know that i could hold my liquor well...extrememly well...not that i drink all the time though... but it was nice to be able to drink with him and his friends, and it was on the first evening that on our way home, i told him that i was sorry for leaving the restaurant and that it was a misunderstanding as i thought he had fired me... He didnt want to talk about it but i told him that if i didnt do so, who knows if i ll be able to tell him in the future in light of this accident. and so he listened

the following night....(drinks and all....they keep making me drink and it was good to not let my father lose face...hahahahaha....i was really sober dispite the amount i consumed) my dad made me send him back to the hotel and on the cab ride back he kept talking about gangs and stuff... but what really shocked me was that as he left the cab, he gave me a pat on my shoulder and said ' take care my son'......He's always introduced me as his son to his friends...but he has never acknowledged me as his son. This was the first time... I am crying thinking about this but i can only give the honour and glory of this to God... He has made the impossible possible. Amen.


Chainging the climate
Im going to Chaing Mai on the 19th till the 28th of this month... perhaps not the wisest move as i have little finances but guess what.... I bought a free ticket this afternoon...the ticket was free but the taxes and all cost 600bht about S$25.... I might have to buy a train ticket as well which would cost about the same price as the plane ticket... Im going up to minister to an old friend who's really down right now...and yes...God has provided me with the means to get there Amen! Woo Hoo!

Hello all,

Thank you for your prayers and sms's. I'm fine now and Im back at the university and class will start in 1/2 hour.

Being Bashed By Buses
I was on my way to uni as usual and i got onto a rickety green thai bus. The thing is, here in thailand...and in vietnam....the buses dont actually stop, they slow down and a swarm of people have to get off and on at the same time.

So I got on the bus....as i have been doing for the past 4 months and the thing was, my laptop bag was caught at the door (which didnt close for some strange reason) and as i took a step up onto the standing platform, I was yanked back by my laptop bag and was sent tumbling out of the bus... I blacked out....

KluayNamThai (banana water thai) Hospital
The name of the hospital isnt translated very well, but its the best i can do with my limited thai... I awoke with the nurses and doctors inserting a urine bag into my body... I was surprised as i had no idea how this procedure was conducted....it was better that I had not known....a tube was inserted into the erm... the erm...organic tube where urine's suppose to come out from....it was this pain which woke me up.....

I was then sent for a CAT scan and a couple of x-rays, then I was observed in the ICU for a day. I sustained a concusion to the back of my skull and i was bleeding from my left ear. The doctors suspected that i had fractured the base of my skull and would be the reason to the bleeding form the ear. But after all the tests, it was shown the the bleeding was caused by an injury sustained by my left jaw (which is now slightly misaligned, and i cant really close my mouth or chew very well). I have a really large bumb on the back of my head and my balance is really wonky, but things are getting better.

Miracles
During the 'black out', i was told by my boss that i continually called her telling her that i was bleeding from my ear and that i was really tired....

This was extremly surprising as my phone was smashed and half of the screen could not be read...I thank God for allowing me to contact someone during this dire situation dispite not having any recollection of this or the consiciousness to make these decisions.

The doctors and nurses were extremely surprised at the minor injuries i had sustained...i suppose they expected more serious injuries from situations as this.... God really protected me... as no other buses, car or motorbikes hit me after i fell...it was rush hour...

My laptop, phone and MP3 player is totally smushed....everything is gone, but i thank God for allowing me to save all my photos a week prior to the accident.

I was robbed while i was unconcious, i had 9000bhat in my bag and i pray that the person who took the money would use it as God had intended...

A police officer was there at the scene of the accident and the bus company was held responsible for the entire situation...my hospital bills were fully covered by them.

My father and brother came to visit me

well lecture is starting... i ll send photos soon

Agape
Toby

PS
I miss all of you

Evan Almighty
I had just reluctantly watched the movie and here's what i need to say... In the scene where Evan's wife abandoned him, she was having a breakfast at a diner and everyone there were laughing at how foolish Evan was building the ark. She then talks to Morgan Freeman who plays God and here was their conversation.

Wife:

But my husband says God told him to do it. W-what do you do with that?

God:

Sounds like an opportunity... Let me ask you something... If someone prays for patience, you think God will give'em patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?

If they pray for courage does God give them courage or does he give them opportunities to be courages?

If someone prayed for the family to be closer? Do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opprotunities to love each other?

Wife:

(grunts in disbelief of the wisdom)

God:

well I gotta run, got alot of people to serve enjoy

I had never (neither did I intend to) watch the movie thinking it was absolutely stupid....it was actually...but this is God's truth...it was his character to have said what was reflected in the conversation above.This is the simple truth we tend to misundestand...all the time... we totally limit God with the way we think he can work and answer our prayers...

Today, Im in thailand, a missionary working among the thais, and a student at the university. These three prayers made 5 years ago were fufilled 5 months ago... God is good, all the time... Now for my family...

I ll write about this soon, just needed to put the site on my blog first

http://yah.blogis.sg/shisha/

Falling Snow?
I was reading xiaxue's blog...sigh...its gotten so trashy...poor girl... she probably has nothing to talk about anymore and she's now taking cheap shots at maids and prostitutes... That is totally classless...anyways i shant eloborate... im pretty disturbed at how someone can be so naive about life... perhaps ive gotten older then i should.... good night...

Chili Cha Cha

I was at the gourmet supermarket and they sell the coolest stuff and i saw a packet of chilies which I couldnt resist buying... Im not planning to eat them but theyre a feast for the eyes... Im gonna dry the seeds and plant them and hopefully they'll grow....im not very good at growing things...although i like to very much... sigh...the only things that grow well under my care are mould....and fungus of course...

Another thing before i forget
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Vesak Day
I woke up this morning in pain as Im plagued with tonsilitis... Intrestingly tonsilitis was something i had problems with in singapore, then I had no infection during my time in Vietnam, and now that im in Thailand..its back again...and the conclusion is... STRESS.... Im under a mountainload of stress... Oh and Ive quit my job...

So anyways as I was marking books this morning (see...see....so much work and the parents expect this of teachers....what the hell...im only doing this to keep you off my tail...with so much marking i can't supplment your child's education with more interactive activities...and thats your own fault) sigh...anyways

as i was marking my books, someone appreared on the msn and next to the person's nick was this 'Vesak day, the day the lord buddah attained enlightenment over the law of all things'

I was a buddhist and this caused to me to wonder... It is wonderful that the lord buddah had attained enlightment over the law of all things.. in other words he understood the law over life and death and the things to come.... and interestingly...there is a law to everything.....

My question is....who wrote the law...who decided what right or wrong...who decided where everything began and where everything would end... Dont get me wrong im not buddhist bashing...but i think its an important question to address....

This is an important revelation to me that the lord buddah understood that there was a law to everything... however its more important to know who wrote the law...

So with that, the lord buddah recgonises that he's not soverign over all... that he is under the law of everything and his objectve was to free himself from the law... In order for you to free oneself from the jursidiction of the law, one has to be outside the jurisdiction of the law.

If one is born under the law, one can only be free from the law if the law allows one to be free from the law... and once and if one is free from the law, one would need to be in the jurisdiction of a power outside the law...

and if the law is all encompassing then the only thing outside the law is the person the law allowed to be free from the law....and if a person is free from the law and everything else is under the law, wouldn't that mean that the person would have to create a new jurisdiction outside the law...

and what creation powers does a man have?

Furthermore if the law is all encompassing, then anything outside the law is nothing...and what is the purpose of that? To be free from suffering and pain? Or to be free from emotions of happiness and love? Nothingness is nothing however we were put under the law for something, why are we running away from our purpose and desiring to disappear into nothing?

Anyways, Vesak day is the day the lord buddah attained enlightnement of the law of all things...which only means that he understands the law...but one can only be free from the law if the law allows it... and who has to power to do this? No one except the one who conceived and enforces the law... and who would that be? The lord buddah only understood the law, he did not create the law...so how now brown cow? ;)

My Mornings

Ive been in Bangkok for a month now and Ive over stayed for 4 days already...the visa issue has been trying... if i get a student visa, i wont be able to work at teh school as both schedules clash, without a bachelor degree, i wont be eligible for a work permit...well the problems are endless...

Teaching in a school only means that I have the opportunity to wake up early and because my apartment looks out relatively undisturbed, here are some of the sky scenes I see... God is Great!

Korrecting the Koreans

Ive had Korean parents petition against me because they refuse to have a chinese teach their children english... They were concerned about my accent...that I would have a strong Singlish accent and that their children will pick it up....I mean please lah! What sing gar pore reeun assent har? where got? These people hor...must be dreaming hor!

I have no qualms about speaking singlish, its somethign that im proud of! it's singaporean english...somthing thats unique to me...its a form of english that has evolved over a century and has successfully incoporated 3 languages into english... its Asian English...words like Tau Hu, Roti Prata, Alamak, Loti (bread), buay tahan...and so on...words that we're so comfortable and familiar with...

Anyways... I choose not to speak it for professional reasons, and these parents hear from other parents, who heard from other parents, who met with people who ate a cafe, who worked for people, who had business partners, who had daughters with girlfriends, who had maids, whom during their gossip sessions, heard from the security guard, who met the 7-11 counter staff who heard me use broken english to buy a packet of cigerettes and a bottle of black cat whiskey...

I mean what the hell! baseless, brainless comments...and now a petition...

the parents are actually confused with what's happening, one parent says something, but the children give a totally opposite comment...the kids love coming to school but the parents hate me...Im trying my best to give my all to the kids, but the children are echoing their parent's words and their speech... I had a boy come up to me and questioned why i had not marked his friend's book and threw the book on my table and told me to mark it... I try very hard not to blame the child for i know that that's his mother speaking...not him...

but God's been faithful with providing comfort... same as when he provided the fairy bread in vietnam during my low period... ive received a card from my student thanking me for teaching her and she put loads of crosses in the card with the message 'God loves you'...and she gave me a crucifix as well...

and today as i was praying (in extreme and total fustration) for God to provide the Korean parents with more love and that he reveals himself to them... there was a knock on the door, and the korean children of the parents whom I had been praying for came in with a plate of korean snacks and chocolates for me...God is great... he knows when his children are hurting and how best to comfort them

Sickening Home Sickness
I MISS VIETNAM!!! I’ve been in Bangkok for 2 weeks now and I deeply yearn to be home in Hanoi. Bangkok’s a nice place but I seem to have fewer hours in my day compared to Hanoi, and of course I miss all of you dearly!!!

I also miss the traffic, I miss the sweet smelling exhaust, the way the ladies would ask if im married, I miss the plain bland food, I miss the flowers and greenery, I miss the familiar pot-holed roads, I miss being able to understand (some) Vietnamese. I MISS MY COFFEE!!! It was tragic that I had no space to pack any coffee into my bags as I had already been carrying 30kgs worth of luggage. Oh my coffee! How thou hast forsaken me!

It’s interesting that I’ve never felt homesick before…till now that is… I guess Vietnam’s my home... I didn’t feel that way about Singapore… so I guess I ll have to redefine what home means

Kumustaka (im sorry if ive spelt it wrongly)
I have 5 Filipino colleagues and they’re a pretty cool bunch, Lois is a Christian and I joined her at her bible study last Friday night and guess what…BS ended at 12 midnight. So what would one do at a Filipino bible study?

1. Bible Study
2. Sharing
3. EAT
4. PLAY GAMES

Oh my goodness! GAMES!!! I was totally stunned but I got out of it pretty quickly (hey, I lived in Vietnam for a year…one learns to give up sanity easily) So I joined in, I would usually find it hard to laugh at the things the Filipinos laugh at but I found it easier to laugh at them then with them…(sorry kuyas and ates) They were similar to our BS in Hanoi except that they were louder…much, much louder…

And we had TONS of food, we ate before the bible study, during the bible study and after the bible study. One Ate made this unbelievable upside-down pineapple cake…it was the yummiest piece of cake that Ive had. The only problem was it oozed sugar and butter when I bit it…But its soooo good (I ll find out how to bake it ok)

As for church, Im attending the Evangelical Church of Bangkok and strangely enough I have been there before…perhaps 3 years ago and it was Kien Ann who brought me there. The service and worship was wonderful, I can see myself growing further with this church. As for further preparation… I will follow as He deems fit…so for now I have no plans…only a heart ready to obey…

Studio Apartment Siah!
Ive moved in 3 nights ago into my ‘studio apartment’ (quite a nice name for a one room flat hor…) Well it’s actually bigger then my room back in Singapore and I like it very much…very basic but I’ll do it up as the months progress… I’ve housed myself on the 5th floor so that I get to see out and that’s a really nice thing to have…
Oh and my priority is to setup the kitchen…and there’s not much space to do so….Thai food is nice but I would just die from the liberal amount of sugar they put into their food. Oh and I need a fridge too…one of those tiny fridges that would fit under the desk…

My building manager is a tigeress! She’s ultra fierce but she get’s things done, and compared to all the other apartments I’ve looked at, her’s was the cleanest and was maintained well. I guess its also a plus point that she likes me too :)

Go Web!
David, Steph and I watched Spiderman 3 and here’s something interesting. In one scene, peter parker was talking to his landlord and we noticed that the landlord lived in room 502. David then said ‘hey Toby, wouldn’t that make spiderman’s landlord you neighbour?” I then replied “who knows spiderman and I may even have the same apartment number.” As the movie progressed David and I looked for every opportunity to discover peter parker’s apartment number…and I am proud to say, spiderman and I do share the same apartment number…room number 501….muahahahaha

Speaking of which, here’s my address (but its not completely accurate let me check again)

Sukhumvit 71, Phra Kanong Soi 37, Unitec Apartments, Room 501,
Klong Toey, Watana,
Bangkok, Thailand

And my handphone number is +66846643348


Ko Samed
David and Steph are here in Thailand now on a week’s long holiday. We are now on our last day in Ko Samed. It’s a really good trip, Ko Samed isn’t as touristy as most other islands in Thailand however it’s developed enough for you to be comfortable. Food and drinks are everywhere and you could come here with nothing and will still be able to buy all the things you would need for a holiday here…and the prices are high but not extremely high. It’s more like a beach resort for Thais.

There is however an entrance fee of 400bht/$16sgd/$11usd for foreigners, whilst the thais only pay 40bht/$1.6sgd/$1.1usd, so when the ticket guy approached us and asked me how many tickets I needed. I replied ‘3 please’ in Thai and we only paid 120bht muahahahahahah!, a thai friend whom we met on the ferry was utterly surprised at how clear my diction was and I replied to him in thai ‘I speak thai well don’t I?

And on another note, I yelled ‘Em Oi’ at a waitress once, people turned and looked in my direction…realizing that I had forgotten that I was no longer in Vietnam and to salvage the embarrassing moment…I turned and looked in the direction which everyone was looking at…hoping to find another scapegoat for this embarrassing scene. So much for quick thinking…

Die ah Diarrhea
It is sad to leave one’s home but who’s to say that this world is not my home eh… Well home is where the heart is and I want to say that my heart is heaven…sigh…

Well its been the second day of teaching and I have fears… for the past year in Vietnam, I’ve been totally working in a circus where the acrobats double up as the lion tamers and the clean up crew… and a clown for a ring master (ringmasters are the ones who own the circus yes???) …and now Im in a proper school with structure and a proper setup… and my job… lion tamer…

And now that im here it’s a refreshing change, my bosses have invited me to stay with them till I find a place of my own and are even having me at the dinner table… and that’s really nice of them…

Well speaking about dinner, Vietnam has given me a wonderfully unforgettable parting present… I got food poisoning from my final meal on Thursday night (note that Thursday was the night of my final meal…everything between Thursday and Monday went down the toilet whether through the front or back entrance) but hey that’s ‘Detox’ isn’t it?

2 days to go
It's 4 'clock on a Thursday and Im sitting at a cafe with Leon and Ben, all of us at our laptops...it's interesting that instead of talking and chilling, we're all doing some form of work...the vietnamese patrons around us are all chatting, having a nice relaxing time....

Not that I like being lazy/idle but i kinda like the way the vietnamese are... dispite being bogged down with work, they would just leave everything aside and chill out....work doesnt get done and stuff but wow... its quite a balanced life... they can make time for relaxing at the expense of work...

Well anyways, Ive only got 2 days to go and Ive not even started packing and my rooms a total mess... a minefield actually

And im not sad to leave vietnam, nor am I excited to be in thailand...everything is just ....normal....

I need a quiet place
For the past 2 weeks, depression had slowly seeped back into my life and this was from feeling insignificant in my company… I guess it’s normal that since im leaving, people would pay less attention to me but it just seems that as I leave everything is taking a turn for the better. Staff are given more holidays, pay raises, better working conditions… and I had to endure being treated like crap throughout the past year…

My boss once said to me… if you look for shit you will find shit…true…true… and if you are given shit do you eat it?

I mean I agree that if you keep being negative about a situation, everything becomes negative… However there is also the problem of being optimistic beyond sensibility

If a piece of shit lies before you on the ground would you go closer to examine if it were shit? Would you put your nose to it and take a smell? Would you put your mouth to it to take a bite? Would you roll it in your tongue to taste it? Hello…..denial doesn’t help in progress…it hinders…

Anyways, I was bogged down beyond what I could bear and I prayed… Then God told me to go to a quiet place and so I did...

I went to a high place and just gazed across the west lake, the sound of the traffic slowly disappeared as I focused on the clouds and the tranqulity of the water... I was expecting God to say something to me but during the entire time he was silent...and I knew that that was what he had wanted for me....a time of quietness..

I was at peace... and it was nice... so after lunch I rode back to the kindergarten and then the thoughts about how everyone hated me came seeping back into my head... My peace was disrupted and I stopped my bike.... I rebuked the devil and told him to get lost and I prayed in Jesus' name for that...then the voices stopped... Oh how faithful he is...

Good Friday's coming!
Here's a wallpaper for you...designed by me of course

I am all powerful! Fear my wrath!
Ok here's what happened... An irreasponsible teacher of mine has given birth on monday...she's a month premature and its my fault...

Well just a brief intro, before i took up the managemant job, this teacher was calling all the shots... she bullied the other teachers and kept stirring shit.... So he's so firece with the children that I had 2 kids pull out of the school because of her...she yells at the kids and well i shant eloborate

anyways, 2 weeks ago she traumatised and neglected a child to the point where the child could not breathe from her crying and had rubbed off the skin under her eye... My assistanat and I walked into the class shocked and for the entire week I was deciding what to do with her.

Last week I brought her into my office with my assistant and investigated the matter...problem was, this teacher kept lying and kept covering her lies with other lies... so all i had to do was repeat her lies until she was all tangled up in them... then she could lie no more... I gave her a verbal warning and told her that this was to be her last warning and that she should not treat me like an idiot (which I have allowed... because i believe that people should be given the benifit of the doubt...but of course theres a limit...for those who have known me for a long time would also know about my temper...) and I was pretty nice about it, we ended on a good note and all

So after she gave birth on monday, my HR lady called her and her response was that I stressed her so much that she had given birth.... Man am i powerful....

Lesson of the day
Don't mess with me...

Tieng Viet Oder Pasaat Thai?
29 days to go before I leave Vietnam for Thailand... a very interesting turn of events... well I guess its not of a grave concern where I go coz I'll still have to be used by God in whatever way He deems fit. But it'll be interesting to have to try to speak thai again...my last trip back to thailand was disasterous as I spoke broken thai with broken vietnamese....

(blues' for thai, red's for vietnamese, greens for the english) Phom Ten La Toby...My name is Toby

Xin cho phom kuey teow heng khong ot, Please give me Kuey Teow/Pho...dry...no chilies

Khong Chai, khong chai!, No! No!

Headache headache headache....anyways I was initially reluctant to go to Bangkok and I asked God why He wanted me there...and his reply was....' I want you to eat amongst the prostitutes and tax collectors at my dinner banquet'.... I seeeeeeeeee.......sigh..... wah biang eh.....can die leh....

Please pray for me regarding this... if you don't know what to pray for please consider this hint

Bangkok aka 'Sodom and Gomorrah of Asia' + Toby aka 'single and lonely 26 year old' = ???

Dreaming of Donald Duck
Ok now here's a weird dream I had this week....Donald Duck (Donald) has always been my favourite childhood cartoon character....but anyways....In my dream, I dreamt that I was given a magic plastic duck beak (similar to the ones they sell at the 'duck tours' only larger)...I had no idea what magical powers it had but I went to visit Donald.... We met in this field which was an elavated plain and below it was the CBD (Central business district) of Singapore... I told Donald that I was given a magic beak and I had no idea what it could do..then Donald got really desperate and wanted to look at the Beak... but instead of giving it to him...I put it in my mouth..and at that moment I became invisible to Donald...he scampered to find me and I would remove the beak from my mouth to reveal myself for a moment...and when he saw me and ran towards me I would put the beak back on and avoid me...

It was a great feeling to see Donald helpless and desperate.....I then took off the beak and he was calling for me to give it to him because he desperately needed it....so instead of giving it to him, I found a hole in the grass... I lifted him up and forced him into the hole... he was helpless and i ran down the hill to catch a bus....it was an exilirating experience....

Then I woke up and yes...it was a really disturbing dream...So i prayed for wisdom and at that moment it came upon me....The thing was...Donald and I are best friends and when I had something he wanted...something that I didnt need... I had an advantage and it was a great feeling to deprive someone of their needs... It felt good to have power over someone... That a physical object would mean so little to me but so much to my best friend and I would crush his spirit just for the sake of enjoying another person's agony...

A friend's child once said to me 'Satan tells us...to make yourself a great person, you make yourself bigger and others smaller....God says to us....to make yourself a great person...humble yourself....make others greater....that is true greatness' I guess this is the same idea which ran through my head as I was evaluating my dream....

Have we put an object before a human relationship? objects like money, our pride, other relationships...ourselves...I guess we can reflect on this..... interesting dream...interesting dream.....

Back to the Bangkok issue
Well I only see my period in Thailand to be for preparation to return to Vietnam....however the evil one has been making my departure very difficult...for he doesnt want me back....pray for this....

Im planning to take up a Tesol certification in Chiangmai and if its possible...i could source for a university course to attend while im there...and well i ll make my way back to Vietnam after that... Things are not finished here...not yet

Agape
Toby

21st April
Yup yup yup...bought my tickets and I'm heading down to Bangkok to start the next phase of my life... The cool thing is that Brian will be joining me on the flight as he's heading to Bangkok to meet a friend for a holiday and he's gonna help me carry my stuff over...cool siah...

Anyways Ive started on my farewell video and it's really sad that I have to go through all of my old pictures and recollect the emotions I had whilst taking them...Im gonna miss this place...but i ll be back

The student
Today I started teaching a new class of students and it was good as I could finally prepare my lessons and not just head in to teach a 'conversation' class......well anyways...the students were delighted to hear my name....apparently my reputation supercedes me muahahahaha

anyways...they were all new faces except for one, whom was just lost in the midst of the entire class...he's a student who's been in my class several times...he speaks excellent english and is always interested in discussing politics with me

But he always would be able to translate for me in class but he's always quiet and avoids participating in class... he would have been such an asset...dont even know his name...oh well...

Confirm, guarantee and chop!!!
Ok I have accepted the job with the international school in Bangkok... Initially they offered me us$800 but I turned it down... I had originally asked for us$1500, which i strongly felt was a fair wage...then I told them that I would only settle for $XXXX, which was only a miserable amount on top of what I was getting....and they agreed to the amount...+ living expense which was good... well the contract for 3 months untill we can confirm that I can get a work permit... well its a good thing as we can still negotiate the salary at the end of 3 months and stuff...

The thing is... I like the bosses and well I guess its a step down but I can see myself having a good time of learning there...well we ll see how things go... But now my time of eating Pho Bo Tai Chin is over and now Ive gotta start eating my Pad Thai and Kuey Teow Heng Mai Ped

Pai Tee Gong Zhor (Pray to the God of Heaven)
For my birthday, interestingly enough God gave me a little present....It was a little flame which he re-kindled in my heart for missions... On tuesday I visited Thanh at the hotel and then as we were arm wrestling....... erm yes I arm wrestle...this middle aged couple stepped in and said in chinese 'i wonder how cold it is' and so i promptly replied in mandarin that it was 13 degrees...they were surprised and thats how everything started....

They were from singapore and the lady was originally from Taiwan...then as we were talking, for some strange reason, I told them that I was a christian and we started this really weird conversation on missions teaching used on the chinese people from missionaries from over a hundred years ago. The things I told them about were mainly from Don Richardson's 'Eternity in their hearts' who talks about how God as the creator has left reminiscences of himself in all creation...and the Chinese people have know him ever since the beginning of our civilisation...fyi Shang Di, the name which we modern Christians use for God has been a name that has been used in the Chinese culture for thousands of years... Western Missionaries adopted the name because they recognised that this was indeed the Creator God/ God of heaven and earth...

Well anyways we talked about this for 1 1/2 hours and the wife was very interguied with what i had shared as she had never heard of it before, but the interesting thing was that her husband was supporting everything I had said...they were seeking and were considering becoming christians but they felt that they could not agree with what the pastor was telling them but hearing my perspective on the matter they were ready to begin seeking... I have no theology of my own, but its simply an understanding which I have received from my mission's training and reading... well many would disagree, but hey...if im wrong...pray for me...and teach me....Agape

Lao Liao (old already)
26.....26! can you believe it? Im now officially past the mid-twenties.....*shudder*....well I wanted a quiet birthday and have it pass as quickly as possible...but it was nice that people came to wish me a happy birthday...I mean I like that much more then presents...but I like cards the most...

The Tele-Filipina
Uncle Bob called and gave me his birthday greetings as well and I told him how puzzled I was at how so many people at church knew that it was my birthday... he then told me that it was probably the Filipinos who spread the word... he then told me that in this world there's the telefax, the telephone and the tele-filipina...and the fastest moethod of communication was the tele-filipina....and how true he was....thanks Nings/Malou/ Neph hahahahahaha

Hole-in-the-middle
We had lunch at the cafe by the lake near the zoo (and yes thats how i describe it), and Victoria bought my a cake...then Christina told my to make a hole in the centre and distribute the cake from there...apparently in south america its a habit to leave the centre circle for the birthday person...its was a cool idea dont you think! its much more meaningful that way :)

Alpha....
My Alpha group also gave me a mini-surprise birthday party as well...Mark and Celia put up decorations....could you believe it decorations!!!

Well I don't usually like birthdays but last night was special....at the end when we sat down after dinner...I read a passage from the 'back to jerusalem' book and i felt whole again...as if the testimonies in the book had been missing in my life for a while now...God rekindled my heart for missions again...thats the greatest present I received...Khup Khun Pra Chao!!!

Crossroads...Again
Well things have changed again... I mean I still love Vietnam and I still wanna be here..however it may be time for me to just step away for a while... Jobwise, I've been stood-up by the RV Centre and its the third time that this has happened and well I guess thats the end of my job hunt in Vietnam....

Going home for the chinese new year was a blast.... literally....Just 2 days and nights, well the higlight of my trip was the long chat I had with David through the night... We found out that we had faced similar difficulties as christians and well...its good to know that Im not alone....

Thailand was great, I had a good rest at the village. I slept in the attic and it was beautiful, hardwood floors, woven ceilings and a tiny wooden window which gazed upon the forest. The smells were wonderful..the wood, fresh mountain air, the aroma of the forest and the tea store in the next room... smells that just put me to sleep...

Then I was off to bangkok, wonderful city...as always... had a dinner with my potential employers and things were going great, I was willing to come over and they were very willing to hire me...but we had problems with the work permits....well its ok if things don't work out in bangkok....I can still embark on a project in Chiang Mai...the head registrar of the province wants someone to teach him english for a few months on a volunteer basis...food and lodging provided....hey why not....

I guess the most cool thing about all of the things that's happened/happening/will happen, is that Im resolved to give it all to God and well....Im not worried about whats to happen... Im chilled....

Photographing Hanoi
That's all I plan to do today... Woke up at 8...awaiting 10..having brunch by the lake, reading 'the hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy' and travelling all over Hanoi today to take photos... really excited

Teh Bao
Here's a little project Ive been working on....thinking back...I should have spent more time thinking the idea through

Ve Nha Nhe
Im coming home for the new year but just for 2 days..then Im heading up to Chiang Mai to visit Bruce and Dia whom I miss dearly... I guess its a good time to just go home especially after having so many dramas at work especially with my staff... The constant lying and deception really gets to me... I mean if you want to lie and cheat...don't get caught...and since youre dealing with me...you ll have to try REALLLLLLY hard not to get caught...

Today my staff asked if they could go home early because it's the eve of our holidays and I said ok and I told them that they could leave at 430 (which would be half an hour earlier) then they started to sulk and I said to myself that this is a privillage and privillages can be taken away at any time. Then they started telling me that so and so has to leave at 4 because she has to catch the bus home to the province and I said 'ok then she can leave at 4' ....Bo way kong (no words to say) so they 'lan lan' have to stay....

so after that, once the girls were alone the 'ringleader' then said 'nevermind, at 4 I will leave, don't need to bother about Toby'....wah daring siah....and so at 4 the 'ring leader' then popped her head in and asked 'so how's your mother?'....'Oh thats not good...' 'Hope she feels better soon'....'ok...bye....'

'OK BYE????" now wait a minute...she's not suppose to leave till 430... (duh... *raises eyebrow*) and how dare you use such a tactic of exploiting one's weakness to achieve your own interest?..... well I just let her leave and then at 430 I said to the remaining staff that it was time to go and I asked...'oh where's the 'ringleader?'' so one of the girls replied 'oh she left at 420....nevermind its Tet( lunar new year)...nevermind...'

So I replied ' I saw her leave earlier....Don't lie to me' and they were shocked... I guess no one has confronted them about their lies before...and it was a learning experience for me....and one for them too i guess....well the girls were worried big time 'coz its the first time my anger has reared it's ugly head...for the past week they have really taken advantage of the fact that I had given them freedom...But I guess different situations call for different management styles....so here comes the iron fist (...in the velvet glove?)

Of course I will maintain my policy to treating humans like humans... But my integrity towards myself and my work has to stand firm... sorry gals you were given an inch and you took a mile...

As the blossom blooms so will your bottom
Monday I bought a Narsissics flower because the girls at work have been pestering me to buy a peach blossom using the petty cash...and well...that would not be appropriate....So I braved the traffic and bought this beautiful plant and when I brought it to work the first thing which came out of their mouths were 'why didnt you buy the glass vase? Its prettier with the glass vase...'

Well I dont see you putting money into this?.....Anyways everyone complained about how ugly the flower was without the vase and I got really irritated and now its on my bike and Im bringing it home... I mean, what's up with the vase? If you think you can find a better one...just buy one for me then....wah lao eh... If I wanted a pretty vase I would have bought one....But I wanted a pretty flower right?

Thanks for sharin'
Yup David..thanks...

Eye Queue?
I have just received an email from www.tickle.com reminding me that it's been a year since Ive last done an IQ test with them....so here are their results

Congratulations, Lim!Your IQ score is 126 (same as last year)

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

Phew.....luckily Ive not gotten any stupider...I think....

What the hell are you saying????
Woah! Today I the worse lesson ever...teaching at the night class is something I look forward to all the time...this time however things were very different...I only had 7 students of which only 1 spoke english....usually I would be teaching a class of students who are competent enough to understand basic english and that helps.......But Wah...today was a horror....

The students got very bored very quickly and very soon things took a turn for the worse... They didn't want to participate and soon were drawing and scribbling.....

The thing that demoralised me the most was having one of my students tell me that one of her other teachers told her that I don't speak english well and I have poor pronouncation.....WHAT THE HELL!!!! Wah...damn vindictive... ... but its very normal here to have jealous people to do things like this....so its totally irritating...wah can die......

Kill me.....

Which random phallic object are you?
Quiz by Andrea.

Not again
Well more news about the job situation... Today my current company is offering me a position as a management trainee however I will have to sign a 2 year contract with them... There's also the position open at church for the adminstrator....

I know that it's an easy decision to work for the church...and a more difficult one if I would stay with the company... So I don't know... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...yes im totally stressed out!!!

Tam Biet Lomonosov
Today's also my last day teaching at Lomonosov, I had a full day with the kids and it was nice... We ended class with a small party that I coooked Beer Stew for....well basically the kids wiped it clean....the greatest compliment was

"Mr Toby, you cook better then my mother....and my grandmother"

I told the kids that cooking is an expression of love..and the better the food tastes..the more love....

The boys however were not pleased, I had the girls eat first knowing the boys would eat everything...however I did not count on the girls finishing everything for themselves first....Oh well so much for the lesson I gave on sharing....hey they're Vietnamese....hahahahaha...I'll miss my kids...

Up and down and up and down
Well yesterday I was given a few options by my manager with regards to my future in the company.

1) Teach in the Kindergarten in Hanoi
2) Teach prep class/primary 1 in Ho Chi Min City
3) End my contract and I'll get the full benefits of the contract.

And the best part was that I would have to give them a reply the following day... My singaporean bosses would have given me more time I guess if I had asked but the message was relayed to me by the Vietnamese manager. Therefore meeting their goals were more important then me (the vietnamese I mean)


So I had a hard time deciding what to do especially because I would have to say goodbye to my students at Lomonosov... But God really knows when and how to comfort his kids when they're in pain...


A little girl then appeared (as i was sulking) and brought me a sandwich. Spread with butter and doused with sprinkles... It really made my day... Well now the problem is still to what my future holds... I guess I'm not to worry and that whatever I want to hold onto....I may have to give up... well we'll see...

Order me a Singapore Fling
The past 2 weeks at home has been a blast and its a poor feeling to be leaving so soon. Well Singapore's constant development simply meant that nothing was familiar to me anymore and its quite a shame to not have many things that you can feel familiar with. I guess its the same 'ol Singapore...nothing but consistent change...

People have asked what I had missed in Singapore and the first thing that would immediately come out of my mouth would be my friends... and there were 2 other things which I missed dearly, the angsana trees and the yellow/black Mynah birds.. Things which we take for granted

Happily Housed in Hanoi
Coming back to Vietnam however has been wonderful, its hard to imagine that it was Vietnam who made me appreciate Singapore so much more, but it's also my renewed love of Singapore that has given me a even greater love for Vietnam. Strange eh? Well I've been trying to get back into the swing of things however its been slow, and by the end of the week I had realised that greater trials are to come in relation to work... What can I say? I can only be thankful that I'm loving Vietnam more then ever...

ahh here's something thats been a minor problem...the neighbours living behind us has recently gotten themselves a puppy, an irritating, yelping puppy...mmmmn wonderful... It'll fit perfectly into the oven without much hassle, there'll be no need to carve it up too much... I l only need to empty it's chest cavity and gut it before i stuff it with breadcrumbs, cheese and onion stuffing....mmmmmmm.....yum....

Oh and my students were utterly delighted to have me back, and they amazed me with the way they were able to think creatively and work together as a group...not something that theyre good at but things are changing... Even Tuan (who at the beginning doesnt even speak a word of english) is now reading and speaking english and is even initiated to respond and give me answers... I am so encouraged...Well these are my blessings that keep me going especially when things get sticky and trying...

Lapping up my laptop
Yeah its pretty wonderful to have a laptop, its such a conivience...Im now at once of my fav hangouts, its a cafe located besides a lake thats near my place and its called Tien Dang cafe...beautiful ambience, free wireless internet, its a haven from the relentless traffic of hanoi with my hot lemon and warm tuna salad..sigh...so nice...

Scroll down theres a post on the opera

New Year's Re-solution
With normal resolutions not being enough, new year's the time to commit oneself to making good (or not so good to some) changes to one's life. In 2004 I had resolved to not 'suan' (tease) people... Initially it was a dream come true, however as the weeks progressed it turned into a nightmare for most. I guess suaning was what inspired me and helped my creative juices 'overflow' I could remember having everyone's attention and ending up leaving them clueless as I concluded my boring stories and statements
I had David to thank for the awkward predicament I remembered that once due to my continuous suaning, he turned around and snapped at me telling me to stop suaning him...well the message was pretty clear...I had to resolve this issue....and re-solve the issue... Once my boring stories got soo bad that everyone just sat there mouth gapped and wide eyed as if they had witness something die.. well I guess something did die...
So anyways David then came up to me and begged me to suan him......I guess the lesson here is when you play with fire..you get burnt

Drumroll please
So anyways here are my 12 resolutions for this year....hopefully one a month

I hereby resolve to
1) Be less angry at injustices done to me and others (for justice is God's and burning sulphur to me seems to be the prefered means of taking revenge)
2) Read at least 6 books (books with more then 30 pages...hey its tough for me k)
3) Advance my Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese, Vietnamese and German
4) Continue with my gym regime
5) Work on more design projects
6) Not be so nice to arse'o's
7) Update my blog once a week
8) Plant and grow something
9) Eat more fruits
10) Eat only boiled foods during the 40 day fast
11) Be a good host and invite friends over for dinner once a month
12) Spend more time reflecting (as if I don't look at the mirror long enough...)